Message from the Czar

CENTERFOOLED!

Go HERE to see the Anatomical Venus: (http://www.czarofbizarre.com/newsletter/0003_av.html)

Can you keep a secret? Me too -- so I'm not going to tell you how this illusion works! A fair amount of you already know, but, for those who don't, viewing her simply as a perplexing pinup is perfectly all right.

Most illusions, including this one, originated as stage presentations and were one of several visual mysteries presented in a magicians program. The basic ingredients required to produce this astonishing effect are so incredibly low-tech that the original "headless illusion" could easily date back several centuries.

Exactly when this domeless damsel exited the theater and found a home on the fairgrounds is anyone's guess but she's been a mainstay there for several of my lifetimes and then some.

I knew several operators who toured the illusion as a "single-o" attraction, lecturing it in a psuedo-scientific manner. The lecturer, usually attired in a white surgeon's coat and dangling stethoscope, would deliver a deadpan dissertation on the girl's dependence upon the weird laboratory paraphernalia hooked up to her. The most popular story involved a car wreck, rendering the victim headless but somehow salvageable through the wonders of modern science. The word "illusion" never passed the bogus doctor's lips.

One of the best "headless shows" was owned and operated by Hap and Mary Lindquist. Hap was the first person of my acquaintance afflicted with Parkinson's Disease, usually a pretty devastating condition in its advanced stages, but when he picked up the mike and assumed his doctor role, all tremors disappeared. I used to find this as remarkable as the patrons found the girl with the tubes sticking out of her neck.

The girls who work in stage illusions are referred to in the industry as "box jumpers." They appear, disappear, are dismembered and reassembled via an array of strange cabinetry. Being a box jumper in a theatre illusion show is hard work. Finding good box jumpers is even harder. Finding a female to occupy a carnival illusion is next to impossible!

For openers, Lindquist's version of the headless illusion, presented in theatre fashion, (curtain opens, girl is observed, curtain closes), no longer exists. Who'd believe the story?! Now, the few remaining shows of this type are presented as "grind shows," where the girl is constantly on display as patrons troupe through the exhibit. This box jumper does no jumping, and instead sits imprisoned in the tight apparatus for hours on end. Bathroom breaks are scarce, food breaks even scarcer as both require closing the show.

Probably the hardest to endure were the churlish remarks made by the male patrons. Supposedly headless, (so mouthless), she was pretty much doomed to endless hours of sophomoric blithering.

I painted several sets of headless banners as well as four or five panel front versions. One year, evidently on a complete mental vacation, I framed and operated one of my own. The turnover of principle actresses almost kept pace with the attendance of the show.

The farewell engagement for the show was at one of the roughest little fairs in Pennsylvania. In keeping with the cretinous clientele, the carnival had booked four no-holds-barred girl shows, so raunchy that their "blowoff" offerings, (for an additional fee), featured audience participation. I had decided to close the "Headless Horror," (as I'd grown to regard it) that week, so it came as no surprise to find the girl and her boyfriend packing their belongings one morning.

"She ain't workin' here no more," boyfriend proclaimed with a scowl.

"And why is that?" I inquired.

"I'm not havin' my woman talked to the way the guys talk to her in the show -- THAT'S why!"

"I know they get pretty rough," I said, adding "well, I certainly hope that whatever she goes to next will be a step up."

He reluctantly shook hands with me and I said "Do you have another job lined up?"

"Sure do," she said brightly. "I'm gonna work in the Flamingo Club!"

I bid them farewell and watched as they walked down the midway and through the doorway of the Flamingo Club, the girl show next door. I could almost hear "Stairway to the Stars" playing softly in the background.

The Big Tease

Look for a special email later this week (or early next week) for a BRAND NEW feature to the Czar's website... just in time for the holiday's too. Best of all, it's FREE! Stay tuned.

ANATOMICAL VENUS now available!

Just in time for the holidays we are proud to announce that ANATOMICAL VENUS is now available -- a limited edition 4-color lithograph, (500 only), numbered, signed, and ready to be shipped!

Drop by the shop to have a look: (http://www.czarofbizarre.com/shop/)

Our old friends Baby Irene and Nate Eagle's Hollywood Midgets are also still available. The perfect holiday gift for that special someone is just a few clicks away.

Believe it or not, WORLD OF WONDERS also just came in, and as soon as it's processed, we will have it available for purchase (probably early next week). World of Wonders is the last lithograph in this series to be offered.

Best,

-Mike