Johnny Meah LIVE! This FRIDAY EVENING!

If you are in or near the Central Florida area, drag yourself out of work early this Friday, March 1 and head on over for the opening reception of Johnny's show at the DeLand Museum of Art, "Bizarre Brushstrokes: The Art of the American Sideshow!" The reception is from 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM (not at 7:00 PM as previously reported... sorry for the confusion). Johnny will swallow swords, eat fire, and who knows what else, right before your unbelieving eyes! If that's not enough to make you cut out of the office early (c'mon, do you REALLY need more of a reason to leave work a few minutes before quitting time?), then I should also add that a fine collection of Johnny's brilliant banner art will be on display as well! Just wait until you gaze upon the immense glory of an actual Meah banner - trust me when I tell you as great as the images in the online gallery are, you really must see them at full size in person!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Did I mention that "Tina, the Painting Elephant" will be there as well? I don't know anything about Tina's work, but I hear she's the darling of the underground art movement in all the big cities. Bring some peanuts and maybe she'll paint you a modern masterpiece.

Here are the dirty details:

Deland Museum of Art
600 N Woodland Blvd
Deland, FL 32720-3447
Phone: 386-734-4371

Exit 54 from I-4, then west to US 17-92 (Woodland Blvd). Go North to the Cultural Arts Center at 600 Woodland Blvd. Located in beautiful downtown DeLand, across from Stetson University.

The banners will be there through April 14, 2002 in case there is some kind of crisis that actually keeps you from being there this Friday, March 1 between 5 & 7 PM (like maybe a freak hurricane or something, I can't imagine WHAT would keep you away).

I hope to see you all there!

Best,

-Mike

The Lot Man, part 2 - by Johnny Meah

If you missed Part 1, read it here.

My favorite lots to lay out were the ones I'd never seen before - blank canvases, so to speak. Here, save for whatever obstacles naturally occurred there like uneven ground or overhead wires, you could be as creative as the equipment allowed you to be.

I'd walk out the area in several directions, checking for problem areas and consulting the list of equipment I had to locate for that particular engagement. In that walking, consulting process a picture would begin to emerge in my mind. By the time I returned to my vehicle the picture was pretty complete and I could turn around and see what the midway would look like.

I'm not suggesting the possession of some uncanny power like Peter Hurkos saying, "De Salvo put the body over there," or Kreskin telling you your card was the Three of Clubs. I already knew what the equipment looked like and I had the empty lot right in front of me. Some people have the ability to visualize things and I'm lucky enough to be one of them. Conversely, I've known people who'd have to take their own hand out of their pocket to tell you what it looked like.

Mental panorama in tact, I'd next grab my hammer, a bale of grading stakes and my clipboard and stride off to whatever starting point I'd decided upon. If the midway are was paved, then the hammer and stakes were replaced by two cans of spray paint; one white, one black. Even visions can be flawed, so the black can was my "eraser."

The mechanics and erection of portable amusement equipment has become a lot more sophisticated over the years. Today's Lot Man has to know far more than how much space each piece requires.

When I first got into the business most rides where unloaded manually and assembled literally from the ground up. Help was plentiful so you used as many laborers as were needed to manhandle the parts into place. Rides were referred to as "pigiron" because that's what they were made of.

Now most equipment is trailer mounted, raised and leveled with hydraulic rams, and parts once put in place with sheer muscle power are now easily swung into place by electronic booms. Because the core machinery stays permanently affixed to a semi trailer, the Lot Man must make sure that each location is accessible and allows clearance for the assembly of the piece as well as its safe proximity to its neighboring ride.

Although advanced engineering technology reduced labor costs and improved safety, it created new logistical problems and far greater responsibilities for the Lot Man.

We'll use a high capacity ride requiring two semis to transport it as an example:

Semi #1 is the center load. It's driven onto its location, the tractor's removed and it's leveled. Semi #2 carries the sweeps, (arms on which the ride cars are suspended), and the other hardware and scenery needed to complete the ride. This semi has to be backed in to within 25' of the side of semi #1, forming a sort of "T" formation if you were observing all this from overhead. When this ride is up and operating it requires a 60' circle, however on the setup it's now using nearly twice that much room - and the ride next to it has to set up at the same time.

Now, add a couple dozen more rides, each with their own individual peculiarities regarding setup, 40 or 50 concessions, a couple of shows and funhouses, several diesel light plants and that's what the Lot Man has to contend with every six to ten days. What about the business of arrowing the route? Hell, the Lot Man had to get there anyway, didn't he? Might as well give him something to do on the way!

Continuing my "day-in-the-life-of" saga in Lenoir, N.C., it's now early afternoon and the lot's nearly laid out.

The fair manager had walked out to chat with me. The phone company man had come to hook me up, (the phone that would eventually go into the show's office was first installed in my trailer so I could field emergency calls from units that were broke down or lost). Several locals had already driven over my stakes en-route to the Grange Hall or the Cattle Barns.

It would be several hours before the first batch of equipment from Allentown would begin to arrive. I walked to my trailer to get a cold drink out of the fridge which was now on the brink of defrosting itself all over the floor. I was in the process of hurling water from the overflow tray out the door when the phone rang.

It was the first of several calls reporting mechanical problems en-route. Despite fairly up-to-date equipment and several decent mechanics on the payroll, hardly a move went by without a couple of breakdowns and an occasional accident.

Since this segment of the story precedes cell phones, (hard to imagine as that may be), the driver of the crippled vehicle had only two options; either sit in the cab and wait for one of the mechanics to arrive or walk to the nearest payphone and try to get a call through to me.

Other than knowing that the truck in question could no longer move in a forward direction, the driver didn't seem to know what the problem was. He wasn't too sure of where he was either, other than saying that he was "on the shoulder just past an exit."

"What number's the exit?" I inquired.

"I'll go look," and I heard the phone clink against something, then the diminishing sound of footsteps crunching through gravel.

Presently, he returned and gave me the exit number information, adding that maybe he should head back to the truck and wait for the mechanic.

"Good idea, go stay with the unit," I said, adding, "By the way, what was the last town you recall passing?"

"Wait a minute, I'll go ask somebody --."

And before I could stop him there was another phone clunk and more gravel crunching. After several minutes the driver said, "Henderson."

"Okay, I've got you located now - what's your name?" I almost regretted asking, expecting more clunk-crunch sound effects but he responded brightly, "They call me Moon Goon," then hung up.

I returned to bailing out my refrigerator, cheered in the knowledge that somewhere out on the Interstate half of a $200,000.00 ride was in the able hands of Moon Goon.

TO BE CONTINUED...

The Pitch

A Hearty "Thank You" to everyone who has supported Johnny by purchasing one of his limited edition lithographs! We are thrilled at the response they have received from everyone. If your walls are still bare, what are you waiting for??? Blast on over to the shop and pick a few up for you and your freakish friends!

(http://www.czarofbizarre.com/shop/)