From the Home Office

It's my fault. Seriously, it is ALL my fault. Many of you have written in, wondering when the next Meah story would arive. Some of you even sounded desperate for even the tiniest, little Meah story.

"Just a sentence or two, even" someone wrote in.

Blame me. Johnny wrote this story up a few months ago, and between an new baby and a flurry of work I haven't been able to get this together until now. My sincerest apologies to all, and a hearty new years resolution to get one of these out EACH AND EVERY MONTH in 2003. Go on, hold your breath!

Enough of me, time to get the main act onstage. See you next month.

Best,

-Mike

Carpathian Nights - by Johnny Meah

I am a firm believer in reincarnation. Not necessarily the Shirley McClaine variety, but the Johnny Meah variety. (Shirley has her problems, I have mine).

Show business, the category I've fumbled through most of my life, has honed my belief in this recycling process. Nothing ever really dies-It simply goes away to some sort of outer limits rehab clinic and hangs out there until it's time to show up again. Whatever it is that's supposed to have died goes through the industrial version of what the Catholic church calls Limbo. (For those of you who may be a bit Catholicism impaired, Limbo is like a suburb between Heaven and Hell. When your life chart doesn't scan properly, you get sent there until God finds time to figure out where you belong).

Anyway, the thing that died winds up on this sort of limboesque conveyor belt which takes its lifeless carcass through marketing, development and packaging. The corpses of things like Vaudeville, Broadway musicals, Circuses, and of course, Sideshows have all been there. Other notable visitors include hula hoops, electric cars, and Regis Philbin.

Public apathy, overexposure, and things that are purportedly bigger, better and infinitely more fun are generally sited as the cause of death. For example, the toe tag on Vaudeville simply reads "Movies". The movie tag says "Television," Etc., Etc.

The coroner's report on Sideshows was a little more complex, in fact, using the Limbo analogy, it could easily have Mel Brooks overtones much in this manner:

God is beeped on the eleventh hole. The scanner has blown out all of the circuit breakers. He shows up in the computer room, golf bag slung over his shoulder and frowns at the card he's been handed which is still smoldering from the scanner meltdown. "So what's 'politically incorrect' mean? Get Nerdman down here to explain this to me!"

A bland looking guy with rimless glasses and a belt full of pagers arrives and attempts an explanation.

"O.K.," God says, "There's this guy-he's nine feet tall. People stare at him, so he figures he'll take advantage of the situation and charge them to look. What am I missing here? I built this guy and I kept him around for a while so I could look at him!" Nerdman shrugs.

"And this 'political' thing," God sputters, "Politicians are my biggest mistake! I admit it, I screw up every once in a while-now get this thing fixed!" God stomps off, golf clubs clanking as Nerdman pages somebody in Engineering.

Of course nothing returns looking exactly like it looked the last time. Things change, either physically or conceptually. In the case of the sideshow, the tent and bannerline are pretty much gone but the idea of taking a peek at weird people doing weird things is back, bigger and bolder than ever.

From the mid 80's through the late 90's I was getting more work than I ever would have imagined, high paying gigs in extraordinary venues- doing not much more physically than I'd done in carnival sideshows for years. Why? Because there were very few practitioners of the sideshow arts left and even fewer that were entertaining enough to hold the attention of a non-sideshow audience. Sword swallowers were in very short supply.

A handful of isolated events occurred within this time frame that began a slow resurrection of Fakir acts, (using the proper term for what most physical sideshow acts evolved from). The event having the highest impact was the emergence of Jim Rose and the group of entertainers he had developed in small California clubs. When Rose and his group did the legendary Nine Inch Nails / Lollapalooza tour, the whole entertainment industry sat up and took notice. At the same time, a Rennaisance Festival entertainer named Johnny Fox, who, incidentally, was around long before the Rose explosion, came into prominence. Both Rose and Fox, neither of whom came from a sideshow background, created a new excitement by dramatically raising the quality and production level of the acts.

In the nineties, television offered several well crafted documentaries and the introduction of the Ripley and Guinness Shows, a rehash of You Asked For It plus several specials like Wow. Interest in the acts once relegated to carnival and circus sideshows was steadily growing and there were new, young performers learning the acts.

Last month in Pennsylvania the first official congress of sword swallowers took place in conjunction with a tattoo convention. Many of you who visit this site are already aware of this. Some were there and participated in it.

As the lights dimmed on the stage that day it would be interesting to fantasize Mary Shelley's fictional doctor looking to the electronically charged Heavens, shrieking, "It's Alive-Again!"

-Johnny Meah

A peek into the future and fun stuff from Shocked & Amazed

Can't get enough of Johnny's stories? If the response to each issue of CZAR NEWS is any indication there are quite a few of us, so TRY not to jump up and down with glee when I tell you that something VERY SPECIAL is coming soon from Johnny. I'm not at liberty to say much more, but we'll give you more info next month. Trust me, it's a good one!

Here is some good news you're bound to love:

Our friends at SHOCKED & AMAZED recently put out a beautiful "Best of" compilation from their rare, early issues in convenient book form! Lot's of great photos inside, so visit their site and check it out: (http://www.shockedandamazed.com)

More good stuff next issue...

Time to Redecorate!

Not everyone has the wallspace for a full size Meah banner, but don't panic -- now YOU can hang your very own Johnny Meah Masterpiece in YOUR OWN HOME!

Grab yourself a SIGNED & NUMBERED LIMITED EDITION print of BABY IRENE she's a "tidal wave of fun" and she'll brighten your living room right up!

While you're redecorating, why not set the mood in your bedroom just right with a beautiful ANATOMICAL VENUS?

NATE EAGLE'S HOLLYWOOD MIDGETS would look fabulous in the kid's room, and don't forget Valentine's Day is just around the corner -- nothing like the WORLD OF WONDERS to make your sweetie smile!

Just follow the virtual brick road this-a-way: (http://www.czarofbizarre.com/shop/)